Sunday, May 3, 2009
From everyone, i know you'll be getting a blessing. "It's your special day, and you should celebrate it!", but i dont think i have that kind of heart... Of course, you'll be on my mind tomorrow. Your kisses will be at the back of my memory and the smile you had when i gave you your gift will scar me forever but i cannot find the good in me to wish you a happy birthday. It will be just as easy for me to shut my mouth tomorrow as it was for you to creep behind my back. I don't believe you when you said it's hard to let go of something that was so strong. You said it, i didn't. I want you to think about why i haven't said anything to you. I want you to sit there across the hall from me, and watch me like you always do WONDERING why the fuck i didn't give you permission to enjoy your day. Truth is, i want you to suffer as much as i did- as long as i am. I don't want to hear your laugh tomorrow, i don't want to see you even glance at me the slightest bit and i don't want to hear you speak louder like you always do to get me to notice you again... My little sister remembered your birthday today, i wish you knew that. I wish you knew that you're the only boyfriend she liked and remembered everything. I wish you knew that she cried with me when you left, wondering who was gonna teach her to rid her bike. Don't worry, i did that. I WISH you knew she teared today- because she knew you were'nt coming back... Do you see? Do you see what you've done? SHE LOVES YOU. and i... well i loved you...