Tuesday, July 27, 2010

No matter what

As i look back on what seemed like a millennium ago, i see that people really do grow and change. Working where i work, you realize how quickly time passes and how fast people grow. Sometimes, the calm kids become the annoying ones. Sometimes the head aches become the leaders of the group... No one can stay in one state forever. There are obstacles in life that make you stronger, weaker, nicer or even pessimistic. But with those obstacles that we have yet to accept, there comes a slight change. A change that chisels away the old you and shapes you into the new you. We are in a CONSTANT changing stage. For example, when you were 4 your favorite color was yellow. When you were 5 your favorite color was green because Hilary Duff's favorite color was green... These phases that we go through, these heartbreaks that we face and these battles that we fight are molding us into the human being we are meant to be. Its not because you're afraid of the color yellow, its not because you dont care for the color yellow... you just took a better interest in green. Just remember that it took the yellow to make the green. Just remember that your past makes you who you are. It will happen that you will hurt people on your way to becoming who youre meant to become... but that hurt will only be helping the other person to shape his or herself into who theyre supposed to be. A domino effect. Dont be mad at people because they are changing, because really you should be thankful because they're changing you as well... "but i dont like change", "but i dont wanna change- thats nice but its inevitable. If its not now, it will be tomorrow.

Yesterday i was a social butterfly. Always wanting to be at every party, thinking I SHOULD be there, i NEED to be there. Yesterday i didnt cry over situations, i kept it bottled in. Yesterday I set an example. I was a good girl, good rep. Yesterday I was single. Yesterday my dream was to play volleyball forever. Yesterday my favorite singer was Britney Spears. Yesterday i felt like my reputation was everything. Yesterday, I didnt know it was yesterday.... Something took place in all of these changes. I made mistakes. I learned, i realized. I focused. I took the time to look at myself, to look at my life and my futur. I cleaned out my closet of all the outfits that brought drama to my life. I discovered a whole other side of me that i absolutly adore. I fell in love...

Today, i dont care what people have to say about me and how im living my life. Today, i pay no mind as to what i have to PROVE. Today, i realize that i can help others by being myself... Today, i know that winning isnt everything, that losing teaches you just as much as succeeding. Today, i take advantage of the fact that i can have everything i want- by working hard. Today, i cry for the sake of relieving my soul. Today, i have a love thats greater than i could ever have imagined... Today, Britney Spears has evolved as well, and with that being said so has my liking to her & her music lol... Today i wake up in the morning, not thinking about what and who i dont have in my life.. but who i do. I think about the fact that everything happens for a reason. That people grow! That people change! That "we are the change that we seek"! There isnt a map or manual telling us who will come into our lives and who will leave. Evolving is natural. So dont be upset that things are changing in your life, because by you changing, you are helping so many other people find themselves as well...


Sunday, July 25, 2010

Still an unbreakable bond

"Young love", is what my mother tells me every time i hang up the phone. "Young love", is what she says when i blush at the thought of him. It is young love, and we all know it is the greatest feeling in the world. Those first months of loving someone, ACTUALLY being in love with someone. Clicking through my memoirs, ive loved. But to be IN love... no. Not like this. Can someone tell me if this is true? Comment on my comments about this relationship and tell me if its real...

*i cherish a kiss on the forehead more than any other kiss he gives me
*i still get butterflies every time we kiss
*i fall in love all over again every time he looks at me
*i feel so comfortable around him i can even shave my armpits...
*i can laugh by myself and know hes smiling
*i'm able to be myself, my true and stupid, over analytical self with him
*i never stop thinking about him
*i zone out just thinking about him and our future
*whenever i watch romantic movies i put us in their shoes and wonder what we would do in that situation
*i never have to wonder if hes cheating, i trust him with everything
*i get this physically painful feeling in my stomach at the thought of him leaving or when we argue

Could this feeling really be those expiration date, trigger happy hormones my brain is releasing in over dose quantities? or could this really be an everlasting love?

Hibernation over

Well, I'm back. Not that anyone would notice but I feel welcomed for some odd reason. I renovated my page as you can see, blogspot has UPDATED and UPGRADED itself, mazeltov! My last post was... oh my January 21st! What a drought! It is July 25th. My school year was topsy-turvy. I start again in a month.. The end of an era, a huge 5 year era... Who knew it would pass by so quickly? I'm just going to skip right over that scoop of 7 months and head straight for now.

Summer is here. It hasn't been very busy, just heat waves, new UV records, a bundle of clothes from moms new work, NEW MONEY rolling in and crazy kids running around all day making my summer a VERY hectic and tiring one. Summer camp is a great job though, it teaches you a lot of things, patience being the absolute priority. Here's some interesting news, Bonita has reappeared in the picture. Although i am completely and utterly over the whole latino getaway, i cant help but remember what was whenever i look at him. He loves to bring up the past and reminisce, expecting me blurt out those 3 words that mean nothing to him. He likes to play around, sorry! I've got a wonderful beautiful man... hes not worth it. I prefer my all day everyday, all inclusive Jamaican getaway than a latin island i always seem to visit. It lures you in but turns out to be infested with fake attributes that you don't see in the brochure...