Thursday, March 31, 2011


Consider this the beginning of a new era. For myself as a writer. I've been accepted to Marianopolis in Liberal Arts and I decided to start blogging again... Cutting to the chase.

Over the past months, I've been running around in my head trying to find something. I've cried and cried for things that most often are not even worth thinking about. I've become an over-analytical, selfish, consumed person. I think too much into everything and go over moments in my mind again and again. This wasted energy has drained me. It has taken the life out of me. I walk around like a zombie and (apparently) I'm dropping pounds like Jenny Craig. The dark circles under my eyes are worrying my parents, my teachers, my friends, my boyfriend and my family. I even catch strangers looking at me like a animal caged up in a zoo. I've been looking at the world through puffy eyes and been walking all over myself with metal cleats. But why? Again, I turn to this infamous question... Could it be that I've been stressing about cegep? Could it be that I don't have my priorities straightened out? Could it be that i feel the ground shaking in a world i thought was absolutely perfect? Or could it be that my brain is simply EXHAUSTED of processing every single detail? Hmmm i say, D) All of the above. "Is that your final answer?"

I've been so consumed in my future, or at least, what i think of it. I've been trying so hard to "prove my identity" in chemistry and physics that i forgot what exactly there was to prove. I've been so wrapped up in my answers and theories about everything that I'm slowly losing touch with reality. I dont know what to do or where to go. How to go about things.

You are the love of my life. I've never been so in love with a person. You made me feel so important and such a priority. I was above all things. And now... now I simply dont know where I stand. Its devastating me. Its literally draining me. I cry and cry. for moments tht are faded and seem so, so far away.

Where are you...?