Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Somewhere... Somehow... I have you. Volume I

My baby*: My first trip down memory lane... you stand right there. We fight over anything and everything, but you know it's out of love. I only hope you know how much you mean to me. You're my baby, and always will be. You were my first puppy love that everyone knew would evolve to something much, much more. And truthfully? It has! We reunite every year. Every summer. We profess our respect and memories to eachother... you were always there for me. The safety net to catch me when i fell, ironically.. out of every break up. You were my vacation to a latin country :) A vacation that sometimes i visit, but always wish to be. I love you, from the safest deepest part of me, where you my baby, will forever stay. Te Quiero Bonito...

: God has a purpose for everyone right? I feel as though i was here to protect you. To guide you and inspire you. Although we always had that special bond, i always knew i met you for something. I will never call you mine. At least for the moment i don't think so. We are too good of friends for that, but i do have strong... very strong feelings for you. I envy your passion, your determination and your dreams. I know who you are. Deep down... You cover up your innocent and gentle soul with that Jabbawockee mask and do things you know YOU don't agree with- but i see threw that. Its as though i see right into your soul and you know I do. I can't deprive you from doing things, but i can influence your choices. I'm going to miss you. I'll always miss you, even if you are near. Even if you kiss my neck, or cheek or stare into my eyes as if you know what im feeling.. I'm losing you! Please, i can read any emotion you show me but the ones you feel for me. Make them clear because maybe, i might just share the same ones. You're my soldier... and someday, you will see that we, after all these years and after the choices we both made, will realize.

Wonderful*: You were a chapter in my life that has a special bookmark.Out of all of these, you made me laugh and smile the most. I knew you from when i was little, and crushes seemed to be the most important thing lol. Well, my crush followed me to where we are today. Suprisingly, you felt the same! Spectacular how far we've come and the people we became eh? A couple of days stranded in the wilderness brought us together. Sure, we both had different lives outside of the woods, but don't deny the memories we made. It was a fling, so i won't say i love you. but i will thank you... for the bottom of my repaired heart. You brought me to life again. You re-egnited the fire in my soul that i thought was out. You made me able to come back again. Thank you. I'll be here for you no matter what you need or when you need it. you are and always will be wonderful.

The Man*: 3 words. Bundle of Problems. 2 more: Great friend. From the start, you were constantly by my side whenever i got tired of fighting a battle. and you still are. My co-pilot or knight in shinning Armani :) Honey, you have a head on your shoulders and a heart of fucking gold, i just wish you would realize what a great guy you are. Maybe someday, if you patch up the issues, we might walk down the red carpet together... as you always imagined :p But you need to stop making problems that dont need to be created. Believe & Practice what you preech cuz it's beautiful and full of wisdom. Best of luck and thanks for bringing out the best is me.

11:11*: lately... you're all i wish for. a call or a text or even a message. Upfront or sublimonal any message from you would do. Sweet face... the new boy in town. You've been in my town for a very long time scientifically... since i was born if i re call. B.O.B and i respect that. and i know that its important to you and i love how passionate and determined you are for the game, because i too love the game. Dont let anyone get in the way of your dreams. Just know i feel for you. Just know that i support you. Just know i wish for you every 11:11.

Mr. Big/Him*: mostly all my blgos are about you anyway. from the start."Goodbye", that was for you. and practically all that came before. theres no doubt i love you. more than you could imagine. so many impossible dreams came true for us, and some still awaiting- but i guess i'll just sleep on them. i hurt myself falling for you, but that's how it goes right? You hurt when you fall. Feels like i fell from a 10 story building! I can honestly say you broke my heart. You were the only one who had enough of me to do that. You manipulated me... used me in different ways that i was using you. but baby no one in this world knows me like you do. no one sees me the way you do. you're a fucking jackass. you're an imbecile and a thief. a thief of me. you're a murderer and a cheat. but you're also the love of my life. Every song, every word, every place plays a roll in our story. I went everywhere with you and your weight is still hanging on my shoulders. I'm young and im stupid. I don't know what i would do if you appeared again. but i have faith in myself to make the decision, because my decisions in the begging led me to you.. you are my greatest fear, my inner weakness and the mirror of evil but i fell in love with you. and baby i always will be. Thank you, Your welcome, Sorry, I forgive you <3 Then, now, always...

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